Ricky II: Ricky Vs. Essex

Joey Essex is the reemest man alive, but bad mouth his sister and he will have you, as Ricky Rayment found out...

In 'Ricky I: Ricky Vs. Arg', Arg and Ricky had a civil - if not a little heated - discussion about Lydia. For once the sequel was much more entertaining than the original.

Ding! Ding! 'Ricky II: Ricky Vs. Essex'! Joey heard on the grapevine that Ricky had been bad-mouthing him. Come Lauren's blow-bar re-opening, Joey decided to have a word with Ricky. Ricky blamed his loose lips on booze and then Frankie weighed in, "Sort yourself out!" And then it ALL kicked-off.

"No-one's talking about you and no-one will ever f***ing talk about you!" was Ricky's response to Frankie. Joey, at first restrained, quickly followed Ricky and before you could say "I want to bite your face" Joey had punched Ricky down to the ground. Ricky was a-rolling. It wasn't long before #TeamJoey was top trending on Twitter.

Gemma was also trending because she had a date at last - hallelujah! Her fella's name is Charlie. He likes Titanic, Pussycat Dolls and Ricky Martin. To be honest, we're not completely sure he's not gay, but Gemma seemed happy with him, so we are too.

Now Gemma's hooked up with someone we'd like Dr. Boob to get with someone too - and he's not short on admirers. He's fixed Lauren P's boobs and now Lauren G would like the good doctor to see her boobs (purely for fumbling reasons, obviously).

It seems Lauren G would also like Ricky to have a fondle, but she's got competition. Ricky's been texting Jess! Yep! Not content with Cara and Lauren's attention, Mr. Rayment is after Miss Wright.

Ricky tells us all about his ruck with Joey and his romancing of Jess in this *exclusive* chat. Read it!

WATCH TOWIE ON ITV PLAYER!