"I come bearing news," David announced in a dramatic Shakespearean actor's voice.
"For the last 24 hours you've been attached to your buddies -" he read from the jungle piece of parchment, to cries of annoyed (if not resentful) "Yeah"s.
"This will continue to be the case until the FIFTH Celebrity is voted out," he continued to read.
"That's ages - a week away..."
The Celebrities looked appalled at the prospect of being tied to each other for so long.
But then the camp twigged that the boxer was having a laugh - and he then read the real news, that they had permission to be untethered.
"I could see the fear and distress," he chuckled to himself in the Bush Telegraph.
"Playing jokes is something I like to do, not the nicest thing in the world, but as long as I'm laughing, it's all good, baby!"