Everyone else seems to be an expert door watcher. I, however, am a virgin when it comes to brown doors in Paddington.
Never before have I spent so much time watching the entrance to the maternity wing of a hospital waiting for something to happen.
I am of course at the Lindo Wing – the birthplace of many a royal baby – where another one arrived this morning.
If I look left and right, I can see a dense jungle of TV cameras, microphone stands, lights and step ladders.
Beyond them is a crowd of people, who, for whatever reason, have decided they too wish to stand in this wind tunnel on a breezy April day and watch the same brown doors as the rest of us.
Now we've had an arrival (a baby), we await the arrival of a family member who's come to see a new grandson or brother or nephew.
All morning, the conversations I overhear are about as pointless as they are possible to be: "Do you think she’s had it yet?", "Will she leave today or tomorrow?", "What do you reckon the name will be?"
The bookmakers have sent down some commentators to talk baby names.
Earlier they were discussing whether it would be a boy or a girl. (I guessed at the time the chances were around 50/50).
The Duchess of Cambridge was driven here from Kensington Palace before 6am this morning and gave birth to her third child at 11:01am.
Prince William is with her in the maternity ward, choosing to do that very modern thing of being at the birth rather than opt for the 1960s model of going down the pub and waiting for news.
The couple's oldest son, Prince George, has been at his school in Battersea as normal.
Some people love royal baby news, others absolutely hate it. But while we have a Royal Family, news it is.
And judging by the number of cameras here from across the world, most editors have concluded it is news that they want covered.
The baby boy is fifth in line to throne – so at 11:02am today, Prince Harry was bumped down to sixth.
That means Prince Andrew (remember him) falls out of the top six for the first time in since he was born.
But for now, the cameras wait.
And the brown doors to the Lindo Wing settle in for another high-pressure day at the end of a lot of lenses.