A carer originally from Thailand has told a court she heard a voice in her head saying 'dead dead dead' around the time Paul Norfolk, 77, from Haverhill was killed.
Bunthawee Rimmer, 49, was telling a jury at Ipswich Crown Court what she could remember of the early hours of the 30th December 2011.
She said "I felt unhappy, hot like fever. My heart was beating very fast. I felt as if I'd heard something in my head, as if someone was cursing me. As if I was a bad person."
Rimmer said she was in a relationship with Mr Norfolk and regarded it as her job to make him happy. On the night of the 29th December 2011 she said they went to bed.
He kissed her but she couldn't sleep. She described feeling sad because Mr Norfolk had allegedly told her before Christmas that he wanted to end their relationship because there was another woman and he no longer loved RImmer.
She said she remembered taking tablets on the morning of the 30th December. When asked if she remembered hitting Mr Norfolk with a hammer she said I remember picking up a piece of wood and moving it up and down but couldn't recall what she had hit or seeing any blood.
Rimmer is alleged to have hit Paul Norfolk 12 times in the head with a claw hammer before swallowing tablets, bathroom cleaner and attempting to cut her own throat.
She'd moved into his home a year earlier to care for his wife before Mrs Norfolk moved into a residential care home permanently.
It's claimed Rimmer was suffering from depression which had impaired her thinking. She denies murder. The trial continues