Kerry Needham has spoken exclusively to Calendar as police step up their search to find her son Ben, on the Greek holiday island of Kos.
In the interview Kerry talks about the pain of being in the country and how she will not be attending the search of land near a farmhouse where Ben vanished 21 years ago.
Today is the fourth day of the police search.
Specialist officers are using JCB diggers today to look for clues.
Teams are searching with metal detectors too.
Officers say they are looking for things like toys the missing toddler could have been playing with when he disappeared.
- More details on Ben Needham here
Ben's disappearance has been treated as an abduction for decades. It is the only reported case of its type on Kos.
There have been no significant finds as yet.
Locals say it has had an impact on tourism.