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Sir Ken Dodd's famous one-liners

Sir Ken Dodd has been in showbusiness since 1954 Credit: pa

Liverpool comedian Ken Dodd has a royal appointment at Buckingham Palace later, to receive his Knighthood. The 89 year old from Knotty Ash was given the accolade in the New Years Honours List.


  • My Dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby he said, 'Is this a joke?"
  • Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn's cocktail party? He pulled a mussel.
  • I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.
  • I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
  • 5 out of every 3 people have trouble understanding fractions


Watch: 100-year-old woman has never left the Isle of Man

Most of us probably dream of going on holiday abroad at some point in our lives. But we met the woman who has just celebrated her 100th birthday - and has never set foot outside the Isle of Man.

Bessie Horne has never had a passport. Never gone on a foreign holiday. Never boarded a plane or a ship, despite her late husband being in the Merchant Navy, where he went off traveling the globe. All the while, Bessie was happy to stay at home.

Sadly she can't really speak much now, but Helen McKenna went to meet her and her family to find out just what it is about the island she loves so much:

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