Sir Bradley Wiggins has been named Britain's greatest living wit.
The cyclist, who grew up in Kilburn, was chosen for quips such as the one he made after his Tour de France win.
He told the crowd "we're just going to draw the raffle numbers now."
London Mayor Boris Johnson came second in the poll carried out to mark the start of TV channel Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival, with jokes such as "My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."
Top 10 Wittiest:
Sir Bradley Wiggins
Asked about how he's anticipating one of the punishing Tour de France climbs in the Pyrenees - "It goes uphill like all the others, doesn't it?"
During London 2012: "'Inspire a generation' is our motto. Not necessarily 'Create a generation'...which is what they sometimes get up to in the Olympic village."
After QPR beat Cardiff: "I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season."
To Apprentice candidates: "I've read all your CVs and on paper you all look good, but so does fish and chips."
"I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?"
"Madonna looked amazing. I can't believe she's 89 and looks like that."
On Wayne Rooney's hair transplant: "I'm not having it, He looks like a balloon with a Weetabix crushed on top."
"It's often said that a band is like a family, and that may well be true, depending on how often your family is tired and drunk."
"Our first flat, in South West London, was a pig-sty....Peter Andre lived in the flat above us and in the evenings he'd go to the gym while we'd be working on our own six packs - of beer."
Joking about the possibility of his fellow Bridget Jones's Diary star Hugh Grant retiring from acting: "All we can do is hope and pray."