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Surrey Police and Surrey County Council have released details of the excuses given by drivers as part of a campaign targeting the use of mobile phones while behind the wheel.
In one case, the driver stopped by police pleaded for help, saying: "It was my ex-wife harassing me, can you speak to her?"
Another motorist blamed work pressures when he said: "My boss called to see where I was."
A father-to-be explained: "I answered the phone because my wife is having a baby and I thought she may have gone into labour."
The lure of a smart phone proved too tempting for one motorist, who said: "I'm not on the phone, I am looking something up on the internet".
While another pleaded: "I wasn't calling anyone, I was replying to an email."
Another driver admitted: "I am always using it. It's about time I got caught."
Another driver said: "I was just telling them I couldn't answer as I was driving," while another claimed: "This is the first time I have used it."
And a man stopped for running a red light said: "Sorry, I didn't even see the red light, I was on my phone at the time."
Kay Hammond, Surrey County Council's cabinet member for community safety, said: "It may be tempting to answer a call or check your Facebook while driving, but it is a huge distraction and the consequences can be devastating.
"You are four times more likely to crash if you use a mobile phone while driving. Your reaction times are 50% slower and you are more likely to drift across lanes. If you get caught, you face three penalty points on your licence and a £60 fine."