Surrey Police and Surrey County Council have released details of the excuses given by drivers as part of a campaign targeting the use of mobile phones while behind the wheel.
In one case, the driver stopped by police pleaded for help, saying: "It was my ex-wife harassing me, can you speak to her?"
Another motorist blamed work pressures when he said: "My boss called to see where I was."
A father-to-be explained: "I answered the phone because my wife is having a baby and I thought she may have gone into labour."
The lure of a smart phone proved too tempting for one motorist, who said: "I'm not on the phone, I am looking something up on the internet".
While another pleaded: "I wasn't calling anyone, I was replying to an email."
Another driver admitted: "I am always using it. It's about time I got caught."
Another driver said: "I was just telling them I couldn't answer as I was driving," while another claimed: "This is the first time I have used it."
And a man stopped for running a red light said: "Sorry, I didn't even see the red light, I was on my phone at the time."
Kay Hammond, Surrey County Council's cabinet member for community safety, said: "It may be tempting to answer a call or check your Facebook while driving, but it is a huge distraction and the consequences can be devastating.
"You are four times more likely to crash if you use a mobile phone while driving. Your reaction times are 50% slower and you are more likely to drift across lanes. If you get caught, you face three penalty points on your licence and a £60 fine."
More top news
The station, which saw 44m people commuters use it in 2016/2017, will be transformed into a dining room complete with Christmas decorations.
Part of the monster fatberg will go on display in the Museum of London, while the rest of it will be converted into biodiesel.
Major engineering projects at key London stations mean hundreds of trains will be cancelled or diverted.