Danger, gold iPad cases, money wasted on champagne and an abundance of steakhouses have been cited as reasons why London tops a list of the worst places to live in the UK.
Partly it's the ridiculous bad taste of places like Mayfair (I saw a shop selling gold iPad cases).
Partly it's the glaring inequality - the fact that five minutes walk away from the City, where people are blowing thousands of pounds on single bottles of Dom Pérignon there are people who have to go to food banks to eat...
Partly, it's the danger. But mainly, it's those Aberdeen Angus Steakhouses.
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This is Gordon Hill. But you may know him by now as the Wealdstone Raider.