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Frankie Dettori fears he may never repair the damage done to his reputation by a failed drugs test which has seen him handed a six-month ban.
The jockey told the Daily Star: "I'm ashamed and embarrassed. It was one night of madness with friends.
"I dropped my guard when I was at my weakest. I was in a dark place. I was very low, my job was going down the drain.
"When I woke up the next morning I regretted it but it was already too late. I will regret it for the rest of my life."
He added: "People will always remember it. Now when they look at me they won't think of the things I have done for racing in the past 20 years, they'll just think, 'He's the guy who got caught with drugs'."
Frankie Dettori has told the Daily Star that he was "ashamed and embarrassed" after being banned for six months over a positive drugs test.
He said: "It was one night of madness with friends. I dropped my guard at a moment when I was at my weakest."
Champion jockey Frankie Dettori's six-month ban will be counted from 20 November because he been prevented from racing since that date, French authorities said.
It means he could be back in the saddle as early as 19 May 2013.
The statement from the French racing authority, France Galop, said:
Frankie Dettori's lawyer said he was "determined to rebuild his reputation" after receiving a six-month worldwide racing ban after testing positive for a prohibited substance. His lawyer said the champion jockey took full responsibility for his actions, and was determined to return to the saddle:
Three-times British champion jockey Frankie Dettori has been suspended from riding for six months after being found guilty of taking a prohibited substance during a routine examination at Longchamp in September this year. His lawyer Christopher Stewart-Moore said he "fully accepts" the decision:
"I have spoken to Frankie since the announcement was made and he has told me he fully accepts France Galop's decision. He also accepts that he has let down the sport he loves and all those associated with it, as well as the wider public."
"But most of all, and this is his greatest regret, he has let down his wife and children."
Frankie Dettori has been suspended from riding for six months after being found guilty of taking a prohibited substance, his legal representative Christopher Stewart-Moore has said.