And Jonas Gutierrez makes them safe. That's lovely.
Newcastle owner Mike Ashley has said he will not sell the club until they win a trophy or qualify for the Champions League.
The Sports Direct tycoon has often been criticised by sections of the Magpies support for putting profit ahead of on-pitch performances, with the club going into their final Premier League match of the season facing the threat of relegation.
But Ashley, who has rarely if ever spoken to the media on sporting matters, broke cover to pledge his determination to improve matters at St James' Park.
I will continue my policy of investing in the football club.
I shan't be selling the club until we win something. Not at any price. When I say win something, if we get in a position of Champions League that equals winning something.
Newcastle United legend Kevin Keegan has called on club owner Mike Ashley to sell up.Read the full story ›
Newcastle head coach John Carver has defended his decisions to play in a charity golf tournament and to give his players two days off as the club faces a Barclays Premier League relegation showdown.
Supporters reacted with incredulity when the Magpies' drastically under-achieving squad was given Sunday and Monday off in the wake of their 2-1 defeat at QPR on Saturday, and some were less than impressed to see Carver himself enjoying a day's golf.
It didn't interfere with any of our preparations. Our preparation, our days in and days off, are exactly the same as they were before the West Bromwich Albion game.
I've spoken to quite a few managers and there were lots of managers not in on Sunday and Monday because we all know the final game of the season is on Sunday, so I have a clear conscience.
We pulled out of this golf charity day two years ago and were criticised for that, so you're dammed if you do and your dammed if you don't. I thought it was important that we do things in the community, we support our local businesses and charities.
It is a tough time, but sometimes you have to relax as well to get yourself ready and focused for the challenge ahead, and that's where we are now.
No way, man!
Newcastle have risked irking their disgruntled supporters even further by adding sky blue to their famous black stripes for next season's home kit.
The club could yet be playing in the Championship next season if Hull manage to pull off a surprise victory against Man United, and John Carver's men lose against West Ham.
It's an unlikely scenario but one the Magpies can have no complaints about following a dismal run of results.
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John Carver will impose a media blackout on his Newcastle United players in one final bid to complete their Premier League relegation escape.
Saturday's 2-1 loss at already-relegated QPR means Newcastle will go into their final-day match against West Ham at St James' Park still at risk of the drop, only two points clear of 18th-placed Hull.
Carver will tell his players to put their focus on their match and ignore all media coverage of their relegation fight.
"I'll tell the players to keep away from the TV and going online, to keep them focused on preparation," the Magpies boss said.
"If you take your eye off the ball you get punished, and we've got to keep our focus sharp.
"It's still in our hands, and if you want it enough then you can do something about it. We've got a week to get our heads around this situation."
Newcastle will face a nerve-wracking final day in their Premier League survival battle after squandering control to lose at QPRRead the full story ›