Lindsay Sandiford, from Redcar on Teesside, has spoken for the first time since losing her appeal against the death sentence for smuggling cocaine into Bali. In an interview with The Mail on Sunday, the 56 year old reveals that the prospect of a life sentence is daunting because of her ill health.
"I would rather have the death sentence than a life sentence. I don't want to get old and decrepit in here....at least a bullet is quick.
I've got arthritis now. what will I be like in ten years' time when I can't walk? Sometimes I think 'Let them get on with it'. I've had a lot of fun in my life. I've been to a lot of places, done a lot of things and I've met a lot of interesting people. I've got no regrets. I could be dying of cancer or something horrible and prolonged"
Mrs Sandiford claims she was forced into drug smuggling by a gang who'd threatened her adult children. Although she helped Bali police convict members of the gang, she was still sentenced to death; a ruling which her lawyers argue was unfair and unjust given her co-operation with Bali police.
However last Monday, her appeal against the death penalty failed. She now has just one final chance to appeal to the Supreme Court. After that, only the Indonesian President can grant her clemency. Mrs Sandiford says she initially decided against appealing her sentence but was persuaded by her son.
"The court is like a circus. It's ritual humiliation. I really did not want to appeal. I explained to my son and he said, 'Please mum don't do that'. After we talked he said 'I want you to appeal but I'll support you whatever you think is best'.
I can't sleep, I get flashbacks. I have anxiety and panic attacks and depression. I have good days and bad days. But I'm trying to find a way to deal with it and a way to deal with it is if you feel the pain you know you're still here"
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