A North Wales mum charged with the murder of her baby told police that she did not realise what she was doing until it was too late.
A jury at Mold Crown Court is hearing details of various police interviews conducted with Hannah Turtle, 22, after the death of her son James, aged eight weeks, in 2016.
The prosecution say that she initially denied harming him but was re-interviewed after she told social workers that she had killed him.
She told how she put her hand over his face and knew he had stopped breathing. Turtle said that she sat in the room for some ten minutes and wanted to tell her partner’s mother but could not bring herself to do so.
“My body just wouldn’t tell her,” she said.
Turtle said she heard voices.
“I just put my hand over his mouth, “ she said.
“I just couldn’t stop myself”.
Turtle said that her hand was there for about five minutes and that he was fighting, but then went floppy and white.
The defendant said that she wished she had not done it and said she needed help.
At one stage she said she felt she would have killed herself if she had not admitted what she had done.
Turtle accepts that it was her actions that stopped him breathing on three occasions within a ten day period at the home she then shared with her partner Ian Hughes and his mother in Ryeland Street in Shotton.
She denies murder, three charges of ill-treatment and two of administering poison.
The trial continues.