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The Jonathan Ross Show

  • Episode: 

    1 of 1

  • Title: 

    Christmas special
  • Transmission: 

    Sat 28 Dec 2013
  • Time: 

    9.00pm - 10.15pm
  • Week: 

    Week 01 2014 : Sat 28 Dec - Fri 03 Jan
  • Channel: 

    ITV
  • Amended: 

    Sat 28 Dec 2013
The Jonathan Ross Show with Sir David Attenborough, John Bishop, Ray Winstone, Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty. Plus, a performance from Rizzle Kicks.
 
- Sir David talks about his heart scare and his fear of rats
- John Bishop says depression helped him get into comedy
- And Jamie Oliver reveals Robert De Niro sent his meal back in one of his restaurants 
- Plus, Jonathan has an array of exotic animals on his desk
- All the guests dress as Father Christmas
- and Jamie and Jimmy make christmas cocktails for everyone
 
Sir David Attenborough has revealed that he has had a pacemaker fitted, but that it isn’t going to stop him travelling and climbing trees.
 
In an interview with Jonathan Ross to be screened tomorrow night (SAT 28th DEC), Sir David said: “I had a funny five minutes. No more than that. I had to go to Australia and the insurance said they wouldn’t insure me to go on a long flight unless I had something to monitor my heart to make sure it didn’t do funny things. So they give you this thing, it’s called a pacemaker. And all it does, if your heart suddenly decides it’s going to skip a beat or something, it kicks in. And if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. And I don’t think it has.”
 
Jonathan: ‘So you had a tiny scare, but that’s all over now? And you’re still travelling?”
 
Sir David: ‘I’ve just come back from Qatar and before that was in Rome and I’m just off to Borneo. I only do it because it’s fun.”
 
Sir David added: “I’m not as good at climbing trees as I was, but I’ve been up in a tree recently.”
 
Sir David said: “We’re doing a film in 3D about how flight has evolved in animals…I wrote the script and I said I wanted to appear in a hand-glider and that I would be hand-gliding and then this thing with a thirty foot wingspan would come from behind. I thought that would be a good sequence to end with but the insurance people wouldn’t do it. So I eventually had to do it in a glider.”
 
Sir David also told Jonathan about the one animal he can’t stand – rats.
 
He said: “I think it’s a mark of weakness on my part, but I don’t actually like rats. I’ve got to be honest, I really don’t like rats. I’ve had rats run over my face when I’m asleep, and I don’t care for rats. I was sitting on the, you know [toilet], and I’ve had a rat come up.”
 
Jonathan: “What do you do when I rat pops up?”
 
David: “Throw a boot at it. It was on the way out. It was leaving, because it was encouraged to.”
 
Sir David also brought some ancient animals with him to show Jonathan on his desk. The animals’ tanks were wrapped as Christmas presents which Jonathan unwrapped, unveiling two skinks, then a scorpion and then a bird-eating spider. 
 
Jonathan took the skinks out of the box and let them walk on his desk. He also held one, which peed on his hand and desk. 
 
Sir David told him: “They really don’t do much. I’ll tell you a really, really touching thing about them. They form pairs and they stay together, once they have formed a pair, for life. The reason we know, the person who proved it saw a skink…that was sitting by one that had been squashed by a car and it stayed there for days. They were one of a pair. One of which had been killed.” 
 
When he unveiled the scorpion, Jonathan decided he wanted to hold it. Sir David explained: “Even if he stung you, it wouldn’t kill you…if you interfered with him at the front, he would bring that forward and sting you.”
 
Jonathan said: “Can I pick this up?”
 
Sir David: “Well, you can if you like. Personally, I would be careful. A sting is a sting.”
 
Cheered on by the audience, Jonathan picked the scorpion up by the tail and put it on his hand. 
 
Next he unveiled a bird-eating spider, which he lifted out on a rock. 
 
Guest Ray Winstone told Jonathan about the time he was bitten by a spider.
 
He said: “I think they are the most beautiful creatures you can ever see, but I was bitten by one in the outback. It was a Red-back. I was picking up a chair and it got me and my hand really swelled up and I went to the outback doctor and…I said: ‘Are you going to give me the serum?’ and he said, ‘No mate, the serum will kill you.’
 
“He said, ‘We’ll let the red line go up [your arm] and if it gets past a certain point I’ll give you the serum.’ I said, ‘You just said it would kill me.’ And he said, ‘Yes.’ And that’s their humour…It’s the only country in the world where everything tried to eat you.”
 
Jonathan then revealed another wrapped box, which Ray backed away from. When Jonathan opened the box springs bounced out.
 
Comedian John Bishop talked to Jonathan about his bout of depression, which lead to him getting into comedy.
 
He said: “I’d split up with Melanie and I had the kids at the weekend, and because of the nature of the job I had, as a sales director, I couldn’t decide where I was in the week, so I said I’d have them every Friday…and I’d take them back to school and nursery on Monday. And it meant that on a Monday morning I was just depressed. 
 
“So I started doing this thing on a Monday morning called ‘working from home’…and it was just a horrible thing dropping the kids off and not seeing them for a week and I used to do a telephone conference and during the telephone conference I started drinking. I used to drink a bottle of wine during the conference. This was in the morning. Ten o’clock in the morning. Then I’d sit on the couch watching daytime TV which is just depressing when you’re going through a divorce. You’re watching Richard and Judy thinking, ‘Why can’t I be that happy?’
 
“You’re thinking the world’s great for everyone except you…it was becoming a regular thing and then what happened after about four or five weeks, I thought, I’ve got to make myself do something on a Monday and that’s what made me go to a comedy club for the first time.
 
“To not be in the house…and that obviously started the chain of events which lead to this.”
 
Jonathan said: “So in a way, what got you so depressed was not being with your children, and what got you out of drinking was doing your comedy and what got you back to your family was doing the comedy?”
 
John: “Yes, that’s why when people…say, ‘Why don’t you just stop because you’ve cracked it.’ I think, ‘No. I owe comedy more than it owes me.’”
 
Also during the show, Jamie Oliver told Jonathan that he has just finished reading a book for the first time and how Robert De Niro once sent back pasta in one of his restaurants.
 
About reading his first book, Jamie said: “I didn’t choose it, it chose me really. It’s a very deep and meaningful well-written, sculpted piece of work. Basically I watched the first film, The Hunger Games, and I got so excited about it, I went, ‘Well, I want to know what happens next.’ And the only way to do it was read the book, so I ordered it and it arrived and I just attacked it one kids’ holiday. It took me a while. 
 
“The reason I hadn’t read, because everyone always takes the mickey in the press about, ‘Oh you’re stupid,’ but the reason I hadn’t read a narrative book was because after thirteen pages I fall asleep, so I never got committed to the story. I couldn’t do it. I was impatient. But I’ve got to say, just being in a corner, and with four kids it’s really hard, but being in a corner reading a story and getting in to it, that was a new thing for me. And I have to say, life’s full of those beautiful eureka moments where there’s something new…It was a commitment to a new world, and I’d never built my own world before.”
 
Talking about Robert De Niro, Jamie said: “He came in and he ordered off menu, he ordered spaghetti arrabbiata, which arrabbiata means angry. And I believe I have a very good recipe and instead of just chillies in there you have whole chillies…and you can blend chillies as well and garlic, simmer, simmer, simmer. But he sent it back because he said it weren’t hot enough.  And it was hot. So that boy likes hot stuff.”
 
Also on the show, Jonathan persuades all his guests to dress as Father Christmas and judges who looks the best in the beard and hat. He says Rizzle Kicks look more like elves and that Sir David is the best.
 
Plus, Jamie and Jimmy make each guest a cocktail which they think suits their personality. Sir David’s include a bird of paradise and Jonathan’s is a pina colada. 
 
***
 
Please note the above is all taken from the recording of The Jonathan Ross Show and is subject to the show edit.