Being Paul Gascoigne
Tuesday 24 September at 9pm on ITV
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Hopefully it doesn’t happen again but if it does I am really sorry because I am an alcoholic. But I’ll keep on trying. And try my best till I actually can get this. Until then I don't know if I can, I really don't know.
I want it badly you know how it worked out over the last twelve years I must have drunk...fifteen month over twelve years
But I’ll keep trying.
Been lucky twice. This time I knew...but I hope I don't die through it. Because I won’t get any sympathy...because well he was warned. At least I know if I did pass away through it I wouldn’t be in this pain all the time.
The pain’s like I know probably in the future I am going to drink again...I know in a year’s time I am going to have f*****g hassle again and you know family worrying and Sheryl worried, the kids worried, nephew’s worried, friends are worried. I just think sometimes, just think f*****g hell. Just go away i.e. drink or me go away – and that means a wooden box and six nails....and I don't know why I just don't know why I f*****g pick up the drink.
I don't think I am going to be alright, definitely not.
From a schoolboy with an extraordinary talent in a working class district of Newcastle, Paul Gascoigne went on to become a global footballing legend and national treasure. But since his iconic days making headlines on the international football stage, Paul has been gracing the front pages for entirely more tragic reasons, namely his 15-year battle with alcoholism and addiction.
Over a three-month period, Paul has given cameras unprecedented access to his private life for this one-off, ITV documentary, which portrays the real Paul Gascoigne through his own words and the words of the people closest to him.
Despite his very public flaws, Paul remains one of the most talented and loved footballers of his generation and the film presents an intimate insight into his life, as he opens the door to the day to day reality of his turbulent world to cameras for the first time.
Following his life-threatening relapse earlier this year through to recovery, and a more recent relapse, Paul attempts to help other sufferers by sharing his experiences, whilst also trying to rebuild his relationship with his ex-wife Sheryl, son Regan and step-daughter Bianca. He shares his constant struggle to stay sober, the demons he battles every day and his hopes and fears for the future.
Paul acknowledges the impact his illness has had on the people around him and that he is now in the last chance saloon. From his relationships with his family in Newcastle and his lifelong friendship with Jimmy ‘Five Bellies’ Gardner, to his new life in Bournemouth and the friendships he has forged with the counsellors from his rehab centre, Paul’s close family members and friends also share their experiences.