I have to admit it, it's not been the best of Christmases for either Hull City or myself.

The two defeats, against Manchester City on Boxing Day and Aston Villa on Tuesday night, now leave us with one win in 11 games while on a personal front I've been dropped from the first team squad again.

It started well at Eastlands where I was selected to start my first game of the season but went downhill very quickly after that. I thought myself and Marlon King worked well together in the opening minutes but then it was goal, goal, goal and by half-time we were 4-0 down.

That led to Phil Brown giving his now infamous team talk on the pitch in front of our fans. Personally I've got no problems with that, it was his decision, but I know some people have said it was the wrong thing to do.

It soon became clear that I was the one being sacrificed for a sub and I have to say it hurt. I felt like I was an easy target to take off and was being made the scapegoat for our first-half performance. The manager has since apologised but to be honest it doesn't really change things.

Looking back a few days later, I did joke to one of my pals that when we used to have outdoor team talks in park games we were at least given oranges!

My mood wasn't improved a few days later when I was one of three players who started against City who was left out of the squad of 20 to face Villa. Others were dropped to the bench but only three of us were dropped which again makes me feel that I'm being blamed for what happened on Boxing Day. Is the manager trying to tell me something?

These disappointments coincide with the transfer window opening and it's fair to say I'm considering my options again. I still want to play for Hull City but I don't feel like I'm being given the chance - I'm the only player from last season's team who has not been given time in the first team this year.

I'm not stupid, I know people are saying that my legs have gone and I'm past it but how can they say that if I've not played? If I was awful against City and looked out of place, I would have been the first one to admit it. But I don't think it was the case.

It's the FA Cup against Newcastle on Saturday and no one's really sure what team we're going to put out. I could get a game if the fringe players are given a chance, but then again the manager may want to play his strongest squad to try and get a win. Whatver happens I'm going to sit down in the next couple of days and assess what's going on.

It's a shame that a year which saw me score the goal which took my home town club into the Premier League for the first ever time should end like this, but I've always said football is a rollercoaster. At the moment I'm at the bottom, but I'm sure I will work my way up again.