Wazza is no Gazza
Frank Lampard says Wayne Rooney is England's greatest player since Paul Gascoigne.
That immediately raised eyebrows with the ITV Spy, at first glance: because Gazza was such a different type of player, it's hardly even worth comparing them.
But rather than their influence on the pitch, Lampard was talking about "Wazza's" presence in the pre-match changing room: the boost he can give the entire squad with his mere presence. To be honest, that's pretty hard to believe too. When was the last time Rooney donned a pair of fake breasts, or burped down a microphone instead of giving an interview?
"You get there an hour before the game and he has got his kit straight on, and he is kicking and flicking the balls around, walking around and chatting to everyone like there is not a big game coming up," said Lampard of Rooney.
That's hardly charisma on the Gascoigne scale, is it? Gascoigne was capable of fooling an entire defence with a shimmy or a drop of the shoulder, and could also keep his team-mates entertained far more effectively than Rooney - unless the Manchester United man is hiding his comic talent very effectively.
When Gascoigne and Dutch international Aron Winter signed for Italian side Lazio around the same time, they stayed in the same hotel.
Winter became convinced that Gascoigne was quite literally insane given his fondness for drunken late-night antics.
Fool's gold
Also, Lampard's musings on England's "golden generation" make for interesting reading. He says it was hugely frustrating to be hyped up so much - that the golden generation tag set England's players up to fail.
On the one hand, it's an indication that the players themselves never bought into all the hype that surrounded during the Sven Goran-Eriksson/Adam Crozier era: on the other, it could be seen as a limp excuse for their poor efforts at recent major tournaments.
Arguably no other player sums up England recent wasted opportunities than Lampard himself. His form at the 2006 World Cup was dreadful. He was unrecognisable from the marauding, goal-scoring midfielder who'd stamped his authority on the Premier League with Chelsea.
But to be fair to him, he does hold his hands up and admit that the players know they haven't done themselves justice. So next summer is that chance to put that right ...
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