Britain Get Talking Programmes

Nadia:
Man up. Men don't talk about their feelings. These are just some of the awful cliches men hear all the time. But with 2 in 5 men admitting to regularly feeling worried or low and suicide remaining the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. It's vital we dispel these damaging myths and make it normal for men to ask for help.

Nadia:
Someone who knows the power of asking for help is Pete. Now, when Pete reached his lowest moment, he finally found the courage to seek help. Calling the Mind helpline when he felt he had nowhere else to turn.

Pete:
Most people would have looked at my life and see me as a successful. I had a great upbringing. I went on to get a job in a really good law firm, but in the background, I knew from when I started University that I was struggling with my mental health, anxiety and depression. I was really afraid about speaking out.

Pete:
I thought it could damage my career. I was really afraid of the stigma and felt very ashamed of how I felt. I became a really good actor, actually. I think a lot of the time you wouldn't really have known what was going on. In my job, I gave a lot of presentations and I'd been just feeling worse and worse about those.

So my anxiety was really, really bad at that time. I was due to give a presentation that I was really nervous about, really, really nervous. And I drove onto the motorway and as I was going, I could feel those first symptoms of a panic attack. I could feel shortness of breath, and my heart felt like it was beating so, so fast it was almost going to beat out of my chest. There were cars everywhere, everyone's moving at a speed so I knew I had to get myself to safety. So I had to come off at the next junction and there was a service station there. So I was able to stop there. But as soon as I stopped, I just burst into tears.

I was really frightened about calling my parents or my wife. They were the first people I thought of calling, but I was terrified that I'd frighten them. I knew because I'd looked at their website many, many times that Mind had a phone line that I could call. It was a woman who answered the phone. There was no judgement, no questions that asked me whether what I was saying was really true.

That was one of the first occasions where I spoke to anyone, really in detail about exactly what was going on and exactly what those panic attacks were like for me, and how fearful I was about my anxiety and the fact that it had such a hold on me.

It has become much easier to talk about my mental health and just be able to explain my feelings to people, because it was such a big part and putting down the foundations of where I am today.

If I hadn't called mind in that moment. It's really hard to say what would have followed. I don't honestly know whether I'd still be here.

Nadia:
This is really serious. Calls to those helplines can save lives. They can also save families because when a man experiences poor mental health, the ripple effect can touch everyone in their lives. My husband Mark lives with bipolar 2, and I've witnessed first hand just how much progress can be made when men are open with how they're feeling. Talking and listening is so important in helping us all feel less alone.

Today, during our Loose Women Talkathon you can support these helplines. Just 10 pounds could help one of our Britain Get Talking charities trained advisers answer a call for help via their helplines or webchat. The numbers are on your screen now. Thank you.

Denise:
Up to 1 in 5 women develop mental health problems during pregnancy or within a year of giving birth. It's something I lived through and was the start of a lifelong struggle with depression. I've come to meet Rachelle after giving birth to her second child in 2021. Rachelle began experiencing symptoms of postnatal depression. At the time, she was living an hour away from friends and family, and also dealing with the breakdown of her relationship.

Rachelle:
I would cry a lot to the point where I can cry no more, and I could still feel like I was crying without anything happening. No tears. I isolated myself from everyone. Friends, family…lived a pretty lonely life. It got to the point where I wasn't eating the best. I lost a lot of weight. I was basically like skin and bones.

Denise:
Why do you think you didn't tell anybody else just how low you were feeling?

Rachelle:
I didn’t want to be a burden. That and sort of trying to protect my oldest daughter, because she was at an age where she was understanding things, and if she saw me being down or anything, I didn't want her asking questions. Why does mummy look sad? That's probably why I didn't want to go into depth about how I was feeling.

Denise:
Totally understandable.

When Rachelle was at her lowest, she found the Scottish Action for Mental Health website. Realising they had a helpline and feeling she had no one else she could talk to, she dialled the number and spoke to one of their trained advisers about how she was feeling.

Rachelle:
It just gave me a chance to actually speak without any judgments on the other side of the phone. They also said, you know, with me being a new mum, have I got any links with a health visitor? And I actually had an appointment a few weeks later and I spoke to her then and she sort of pointed me in the right direction for, you know, mental health. Having someone that wasn't involved in my life, I think helped me open up even more.

Denise:
You feel that it's only you?

Rachelle:
Yeah.

Denise:
And I think when it happened to me, I had nowhere to go to find out anything. So I would have honestly given anything to have been able to click on and find a helpline and just somebody that would go, I know how you're feeling.

What do you think might have been the outcome had you not found the strength and insight to pick up the phone on that day?

Rachelle:
I probably wouldn't have been here today if that was the case.

Denise:
I know how that feels.

Denise:
The Scottish Action for Mental Health helpline services received thousands of calls every year from people just like Rachelle.

Lisa:
They may be experiencing symptoms or signs of anxiety or panic disorders. Or it could be for practical implications of what those things mean in terms of finance or housing. Over the last six months, we've actually received really high volumes of people that have phoned us because they're experiencing lots of symptoms of depression and are really struggling to, I suppose, find that support.

Denise:
Sitting here talking to you, full of fun, vibrant, gorgeous mum of four children, would you have ever thought that when you were in the depths of despair, that by making that one phone call, you'd be where you are today?

Rachelle:
Everything changed at that point. I got so much better. I mean, I've achieved so much since that day, whether it's within myself and my mental health or, you know, through advocating about mental health for other people and being the person that they're able to talk to.

Denise:
It just takes one person to know what you're going through, and it can make a whole lot of difference.

Help ensure someone can be there for people like Rachelle. To give 30, 20 or 10 pounds text 30, 20 or 10 to 70870. Texts cost your donation plus one standard rate message. You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payers permission. 100% of your donation will go to our Britain Get Talking charities.