1. ITV Report

Miley Cyrus tops list of funny Christmas cracker jokes

Miley Cyrus' twerking is the butt of a Christmas cracker joke. Photo: Reuters

Miley Cyrus has had quite a year - launching a controversial stage of her pop career, breaking up with her fiancee and now, coming top of the list of favourite new Christmas cracker jokes.

The singer and her infamous "twerking" were the butt of amateur comedy writer Richard Woolford's festive joke.

After a poll revealed 72% of the nation thought cracker jokes were outdated, comedy channel Gold challenged comedians to pen their own seasonal gag.

Despite the origins of Christmas, a nativity joke only made it to number three on Gold's list. Credit: Reuters

A panel of Gold judges led by comedy expert Bruce Dessau went on to shortlist the best jokes which were then voted on by 2000 British adults.

The top ten funniest new festive jokes are revealed as:

  • 1. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky.
  • 2. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.
  • 3. Mary and Joseph - now they had a stable relationship.
  • 4. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show.
  • 5. What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.
  • 6. Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.
  • 7. How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.
  • 8. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.
  • 9. How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed? You've got three extra hoes
  • 10. Why was the Brussels sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender

The author of the winning joke, Richard Woolford, received £5,000 in prize money and a box of Gold Crackers, one of which will contain his own joke.

I’m totally amazed and can’t believe it! I now hope Twerking becomes a new Christmas tradition - are you listening Nan?

This has been a phenomenal year and a great welcome back into comedy for me after being away so long recovering from cancer.

All I want to do is write comedy professionally, and hopefully this is another step closer to my dream.

– Winner Richard Woolford

The top jokes feature in specially made boxes of crackers which are now available to buy online.