Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy is concerned his racism storm has left a "permanent stain" against his name.
The England international apologised last summer after calling a fellow gambler in a casino a "Jap" on three occasions.
He has now reiterated his remorse at the incident in his new autobiography, serialised in the Sun, claiming he was ignorant, rather than racist, but suspects others will never forget.
"Most convictions get wiped after a period of time," he said. "But there's no way of erasing what happened in July 2015.
"The word 'racist' is a permanent stain against my name. It's worse than a criminal record.
"Some people will never forgive me. Others will accept I made a terrible mistake and recognise I have learnt from it.
"It's on YouTube when my kids type in their dad's name and it comes up 'Jamie Vardy racist'. On Google, too. It's horrible."
He added: "I like a drink and enjoy being Jack the Lad. I've had a few scraps and spent a night in a cell. I can be a pain in the a***. But one thing I'm not, and never will be, is a racist.
"I looked in the eyes of the student I verbally abused and told him that. I needed him to see how sorry I was. I wanted him to know there was ignorance, not malice or prejudice, behind the word I used.
"I was angry at the time and I'd had too much to drink but I'd never have used the word 'Jap' if I'd known it was racist."