Danniella Westbrook has revealed she had a drugs relapse and tried to overdose several times after her boyfriend walked out earlier this year.
The former EastEnders star has fought a high-profile battle with cocaine - famously being pictured with part of her septum missing.
She later had her nose rebuilt and enjoyed a clean-living lifestyle for a number of years.
But despite her recent relapse after boyfriend George Arnold left, she told ITV's This Morning it was not cocaine.
And she explained a plaster worn under her nose was down to to contracting septicaemia due to issues with some dental work.
The 43-year-old actress said: "Yes, I did relapse, I thought my whole world was over when he walked out, because he just got up, it was like he'd never been there.
"I tried to overdose a lot when George walked out."
She said that she had taken "loads of tablets" - despite knowing that if she had killed herself it would have left her children without a mother.
"When you relapse and you take drugs, you don't see that.
"All you see is selfishness and a way out. So you either carry on taking more drugs and you get to that point where you're so low on such a comedown, you're like, 'I just want to kill myself'."
Westbrook acknowledged that people would assume that she had relapsed on cocaine after seeing the plaster on her face.
"Obviously everybody is going to say it's cocaine. And rightly so, that's what I was known for for a very long time, they're going to say that," she said.
But she added she is now feeling positive and looking forward to a brighter Christmas and work on the horizon.
"I'm concentrating on me right now: the recovery, the kids, and getting back to work and this new business. I'm taking every day as a blessing."