1. ITV Report

Hammond delivers banter with the Budget

  • Watch some of Philip's 'best bits'

The Chancellor was not just delivering the Budget today but a host of Hammond one-liners.

As well as preparing his speech the Chancellor had spent some time preparing his gags, one of which included a prop.

He used a sidekick for his first joke, referencing Theresa May's struggle with a cough during her speech at this year's Tory conference.

He said: "Mr Deputy Speaker, I'm being tempted by something a little more exotic here, but I'm going to stick to plain water. I did take the precaution of asking my Right Honourable Friend to bring a packet of cough sweets just in case."

The Prime Minister then brandished a packet of cough-sweets.

The Chancellor also spread a bit of Hammond-humour using his Cabinet colleague Michael Gove, the Environment Secretary, who was accused last week of "auditioning" for the role of Chancellor by using "long economicky words" in Cabinet meetings.

The Chancellor said: "Mr Deputy Speaker, I shall first report to the House on the economic forecasts of the independent OBR. This is the bit with the long, economicky words."

Mr Hammond also turned his attention to the Australian jungle where Kezia Dugdale, former leader of the Scottish Labour Party has joined ITV's I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!

He said: "Mr Speaker, if they carry on like that, there'll be plenty of others joining Kezia Dugdale in saying 'I'm Labour... get me out of here!"'

The Chancellor used his announcement on maths teachers to poke fun at his 'spreadsheet Phil' reputation.

"More maths for everyone. Mr Speaker, don't let anyone say I don't know how to show the nation a good time."

He also said: "Knowledge of maths is key to the high-tech, cutting edge jobs in our digital economy, but it is also useful in less glamorous roles such as frontline politics."

Mr Hammond teased former Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson, who claimed over the weekend that he was "almost killed" by a driverless car.

The Chancellor said: "Mr Deputy Speaker, there is perhaps no technology as symbolic of the revolution gathering pace around us as driverless vehicles ... They surely don't want me to make that joke about the Labour Party again.

"I know Jeremy Clarkson doesn't like them but there are many other good reasons to pursue this technology so today we step up our support for it.

"Sorry Jeremy, not the first time you've been snubbed by Hammond and May."

This is not the first time the Chancellor has brought banter with the red box, he peppered gags in his first Budget speech back in March.