A former soldier from Melton Mowbray says he has considered killing himself, because of a rare neurological condition for which there is no cure.
Thomas Agnew - who served with the Royal Artillery and was stationed in Droitwich - was diagnosed with temporary locked-in syndrome in 2013.
It means he remains conscious, but can not move or talk.
He does not know how long an attack will last, or whether it will end.
I can hear everybody, I can hear what everybody's saying, but I can't move my body. All I can do is blink - once for 'no' and twice for 'yes'. In hospital, I've been in locked-in for four days. It's horrible. You're just staring at the ceiling. It's horrible, I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
He now has to use a wheelchair or stay in bed unless a sudden incident causes a fall.
When he goes into 'lock' I'm thinking, how long is it going to be? Is he going to come back? Because it's like he's gone, other than his eye movement - and you have to watch for his chest rising, to know that he's breathing.
Locked-in syndrome is rare, but for it to come and go is rarer still.
Tony Nicklinson, who developed the condition after suffering a stroke, campaigned for the right to end his own life.
It's so frustrating, you get angry. Some days I feel I want to commit suicide, but I've got the grand-children to think about.