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Sir Ken Dodd's famous one-liners

Sir Ken Dodd has been in showbusiness since 1954 Credit: pa

Liverpool comedian Ken Dodd has a royal appointment at Buckingham Palace later, to receive his Knighthood. The 89 year old from Knotty Ash was given the accolade in the New Years Honours List.

5 CLASSIC DODDY ONE-LINERS

  • My Dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby he said, 'Is this a joke?"
  • Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn's cocktail party? He pulled a mussel.
  • I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.
  • I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
  • 5 out of every 3 people have trouble understanding fractions