'To be able to give somebody else the support that I needed, is supporting me at the same time'
A couple who experienced two miscarriages have set up a network aimed at providing the support they wish they had received.
Jude and Geoff Davies from Cardiff lost two pregnancies in 2019 and 2021.
The couple believe society must become more comfortable with talking about miscarriage, if those impacted are to receive appropriate care and support.
The NHS defines miscarriage as the loss of a pregnancy before 24 weeks and one in five pregnancies are thought to end in miscarriage.
Those who have experienced miscarriage say it is still a topic that proves difficult for many to talk about.
Jude told ITV Cymru Wales: “During our relationship we decided that we didn’t want any more children, we had enough between us but after we got married something clicked I suppose and we really wanted a baby together.
“We got pregnant quite quickly and then unfortunately we lost Morgan in December 2019."
The losses had a big impact on Geoff, too, who had experienced another baby loss 20 years ago.
Geoff said: “I suffered baby loss 20 years ago as well. It’s something that I’m kind of, I don’t want to say I’m used to, but the feelings and emotions are things that I’ve dealt with for a very long time.
“It brought them back in a big way. Afterwards I kind of learned that what I’ve suffered with is displaced bereavement. At the time it didn’t really register and it’s only afterwards that it affected me.”
Jude’s miscarriage happened around 11 weeks into the pregnancy, a week short of the moment many couples decide to announce their pregnancy.
It is this secrecy early on in a pregnancy that Geoff and Jude believe is preventing many people from accessing support.
Jude experienced a second miscarriage in 2021 when they lost Bee.
Geoff and Jude set up Morgan’s Wings in 2020, shortly before they experienced a second miscarriage when they lost Bee.
The couple provide memory boxes, hospital care packages and a support network for people who’ve experienced a similar loss.
“It’s what I wanted at the time and it wasn’t there for me,” Jude continued.
“To be able to give somebody else the support that I needed is supporting me at the same time.
Meeting in person with the support group for the first time, Hannah James said the group has been invaluable after she experienced her own miscarriage.
“I’m very grateful for Morgan’s wings and everything [they] do, I think it’s amazing,” Hannah said.
“There’s a lot of loneliness in baby loss and that’s where Morgan’s Wings has helped me so much.
“I actually had something called a TFMR, which is a termination for medical reasons and after our, we found out at our twelve week scan that the baby wouldn’t survive the pregnancy.
“I wasn’t given a photo and I said please can I have my scan photo because I just wanted to be like all the other mums they had this like lovely green envelope with their scan photo in because that was all I was ever going to have.”
Emma Stubley, another member of the group, said: “I couldn’t believe how many people who I hadn’t realised had had miscarriages until I told them I’d had a miscarriage.
“Two of my managers told me they’d experienced it and then friends came forward and said they’d experienced it and I just couldn’t believe that I hadn’t been able to support them at the time because I hadn’t known. It’s just not something we talk about as much, is it?”
Miscarriage: The Hidden Loss will be broadcast on Thursday, October 6 at 9pm on ITV Cymru Wales. You can catch up afterwards here.