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Troll tells mother with terminal cancer 'your choices killed your baby'

Heidi and one of her sons during a trip to America in 2017. Photo: Heidi Loughlin / storminatitcup

An 'emotional terrorist' has blamed a mum with terminal cancer for the death of her baby in a cruel comment left on her blog.

Heidi Loughlin, from Portishead, has been documenting her journey with cancer since 2015 in a blog called 'Storm in a tit cup', sharing her everyday life and tales of her goal to live life to the fullest.

She was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and given between two and five years to live when she fell pregnant with daughter Ally.

The mum made the decision to delay treatment for herself to give Ally the best chance of survival.

But, tragically, when Ally was born 12 weeks early in December 2015 - she contracted an infection, and died just days later.

Heidi says most of the posts made about her are supportive, but one post stood out as particularly cruel. The user, typing under the name Kitty Meijer, said, "Cancer had nothing to do with her [daughter's] death".

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The cruel post reads, "But no, you just chose to continue breastfeeding and planning your pregnancy (they must have really loved you at work, three in three years, way to put more work on your co-workers) and generally only thinking of how awesome you were as a person.

"Then, when you already had two kids you decided that they and your husband were less important than it was for you to be a martyr, so you decided to f**k it all and delay cancer treatment so you could have another baby."

Meijer adds: "Cancer had nothing to do with her death, your GODAWFUL CHOICES however, led directly to her death.

"Thank God Ally got taken away from you, you selfish lying miserable excuse for a mother and a human being.

"Your choices concern only you, and everybody around you just has to deal with your s***. You made your cancer bed, now lie in it and die."

Speaking to the Bristol Post, Heidi said she believed it was important to expose the troll to help other women who might be targeted.

"I know someone writing under that name has targeted another mum who has also lost a child," Heidi said.

Heidi said she believes it was important to expose the troll to help other women. Credit: Twitter / @storminatitcup

I have such a lovely group of supporters, there was no way this person was going to bring me down. But I did want to share their comments to help other women who might be targeted.

I think the word troll doesn't really go far enough, they are almost emotional terrorists. They are obviously very sad people who want to make other people feel sad like them.

I think they might look at me and everything I've been through and think it's unfair that I can feel happy but they are clearly not.

– Heidi Loughlin speaking to the Bristol Post

After the story made headlines Kitty Meijer posted another commented on Heidi's blog again, saying, "you killed Ally and derived your boy of their mum".

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Sharing a screengrab of the comment in a Facebook post, Heidi, who is mother to Noah, 4, and Tait, 3, said, "This person has no chance. What I’ve been through, if that hasn’t broken me, why on earth would this?"

Get familiar, the common signs of breast cancer:

  • A lump in the breast
  • A change in size or shape of your breast
  • A lump or area that feels thicker than the rest of the breast
  • A change in skin texture such as puckering or dimpling (like the skin of an orange)
  • Swelling or a lump in the armpit
  • Redness or rash on the skin and/or around the nipple
  • Your nipple has become pulled in (inverted) or looks different, for example changed its position or shape
  • Liquid or discharge from the nipple without squeezing
  • Pain in your breast or your armpit that’s there all or almost all of the time
  • A swelling in your armpit or around your collarbone
  • A rash (like eczema) on the nipple

Source: Macmillan Cancer Support

A number of organisations can be contacted for resources and support: