Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. When he learns that Oliver has retained most of the profits from deals done on his behalf, Simon considers suing his rival.

Never the Twain

The first episode of the classic British comedy. A pair of feuding fathers and antiques dealers find out that a family problem draws them together.

Families at War

Never the Twain - Series 1 - Episode 1

1. Families at War

never-the-twain

EPISODE

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver pretend to be private collectors to woo widow Veronica Barton for her late husband's Meissen collection.

Of Meissen Men

Never the Twain - Series 1 - Episode 2

2. Of Meissen Men

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. The offer of a weekend in Edinburgh with Veronica causes Simon and Oliver to rekindle their passion for opera.

A Night at the Opera

Never the Twain - Series 1 - Episode 3

3. A Night at the Opera

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon is in seventh heaven when he learns that Oliver's antique shop has been burgled, but he has to eat humble pie when he realises that he has to ask a favour of his arch enemy.

A Matched Pair

Never the Twain - Series 1 - Episode 4

4. A Matched Pair

Comedy series about feuding antique dealers. Lyn and David vow that they will never lie to each other, but their fathers are overjoyed when the vow backfires.

Nothing But The Truth

Never the Twain - Series 1 - Episode 5

5. Nothing But The Truth

Comedy series about feuding antique dealers. As their offspring's wedding day approaches, Oliver and Simon try to mend fences with a friendly dinner party, but then they decide to play cards...

Father of the Groom

Never the Twain - Series 1 - Episode 6

6. Father of the Groom

Series 1

Comedy series about feuding antique dealers. After weeks of harmony, Simon and Oliver fall out over a problem with the marital bed.

Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?

Never the Twain - Series 2 - Episode 1

1. Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. The feuding fathers find themselves arguing over a woman.

As Young As You Feel

Never the Twain - Series 2 - Episode 2

2. As Young As You Feel

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Oliver and Simon are called upon to offer some fatherly advice.

A Woman's Place...

Never the Twain - Series 2 - Episode 3

3. A Woman's Place...

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Oliver saves Simon's life and thinks nothing of taking advantage of Simon's subsequent generosity.

Blood Brothers

Never the Twain - Series 2 - Episode 4

4. Blood Brothers

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon worries about Oliver's intentions when he starts to take an interest in Simon's younger sister Susan.

If You Knew Susan

Never the Twain - Series 2 - Episode 5

5. If You Knew Susan

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Oliver suggests that he and Simon should stop feuding and go into partnership, but does he have an ulterior motive?

The More We Are Together

Never the Twain - Series 2 - Episode 6

6. The More We Are Together

Series 2

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver undertake a spot of stock taking now that they are in partnership again, but greed and deceit are the order of the day.

Taking Stock

Never the Twain - Series 3 - Episode 1

1. Taking Stock

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver's partnership appears to stand in the way of increasing their material wealth, so something must go...

Partners

Never the Twain - Series 3 - Episode 2

2. Partners

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon takes steps to protect his interests when members of the landed gentry visit both his shop and Oliver's.

A Nose for Quality

Never the Twain - Series 3 - Episode 3

3. A Nose for Quality

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. David and Lyn inform their fathers that they have no intention of having children, so Oliver and Simon resort to drastic action in a bid for a grandchild.

The End of the Line

Never the Twain - Series 3 - Episode 4

4. The End of the Line

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver join forces to resist their children's attempts to put them on a diet and exercise plan, but avarice and skullduggery undo the alliance.

The Welsh Connection

Never the Twain - Series 3 - Episode 5

5. The Welsh Connection

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver forge an uneasy pact when they learn that Lyn is expecting, but tensions arise when they agree to be interviewed on a local radio station.

Not on the Same Wavelength

Never the Twain - Series 3 - Episode 6

6. Not on the Same Wavelength

Series 3

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. With their children having moved to Canada, Simon and Oliver return to a bachelor existence.

A Home of Your Own

Never the Twain - Series 4 - Episode 1

1. A Home of Your Own

Comedy series about rival antique dealers Simon Peel and Oliver Smallbridge. While Simon delves into genealogy, Oliver prepares to add a princely patron to his customers.

The Royal Connection

Never the Twain - Series 4 - Episode 2

2. The Royal Connection

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. When Oliver's vet wants him to sing at her upcoming charity event, Simon plans to give a dramatic recitation in response.

Words and Music

Never the Twain - Series 4 - Episode 3

3. Words and Music

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon's love life hots up when an old flame reappears on the scene.

No Flame Like An Old Flame

Never the Twain - Series 4 - Episode 4

4. No Flame Like An Old Flame

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Could Simon and Oliver be overlooking a third prospect in their rivalry for Caroline's hand and her affections?

Loves' Neighbours' Lost

Never the Twain - Series 4 - Episode 5

5. Loves' Neighbours' Lost

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver decide to buy cheap air tickets to visit the children in Canada, but they get one flight more than they bargained for courtesy of the local flying squad...

Come Fly With Me

Never the Twain - Series 4 - Episode 6

6. Come Fly With Me

Series 4

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver look in danger of losing much more than their hearts when they both take a fancy to a beautiful shop assistant.

In Whom We Tryst

Never the Twain - Series 5 - Episode 1

1. In Whom We Tryst

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver find themselves at loggerheads over a relaxing weekend break.

Going Going Gone

Never the Twain - Series 5 - Episode 2

2. Going Going Gone

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Simon reveals a secret surrounding his birth to Oliver - and learns of an even stranger mystery in return.

Thicker Than Water

Never the Twain - Series 5 - Episode 3

3. Thicker Than Water

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Oliver accepts Simon's challenge to take up judo - and soon regrets his decision.

Kung Who

Never the Twain - Series 5 - Episode 4

4. Kung Who

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. A vindictive estate agent with unsavoury plans for Simon and Oliver's neighbourhood is brought to book by a lovelorn Ringo's visit to the library.

Reading Between The Lines

Never the Twain - Series 5 - Episode 5

5. Reading Between The Lines

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. When Simon and Oliver are invited to play cricket for their local team, they discover that their teammates are a little on the mature side.

Definitely Not Cricket

Never the Twain - Series 5 - Episode 6

6. Definitely Not Cricket

Series 5

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Oliver regrets his act of kindness when he offers to help a poorly Simon recover from a cold.

Feed a Cold

Never the Twain - Series 6 - Episode 1

1. Feed a Cold

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver create mayhem after making a discovery when Ringo invites them to dinner whilst trying to impress his teacher.

Going to Pot

Never the Twain - Series 6 - Episode 2

2. Going to Pot

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon helps his old pal Oliver when he falls foul of his prospective mother-in-law.

Love Is A Many-Splendoured Thing

Never the Twain - Series 6 - Episode 3

3. Love Is A Many-Splendoured Thing

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Burglars are in the neighbourhood, leading to an eventful night for Oliver, Simon, Mrs Sadler & Banks when they are held at gunpoint.

A Night to Remember

Never the Twain - Series 6 - Episode 4

4. A Night to Remember

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Lady Deveraux asks Simon and Oliver to take part in a historical re-enactment of a Civil War battle at the village fete.

The Battle of Deveraux Dale

Never the Twain - Series 6 - Episode 5

5. The Battle of Deveraux Dale

Comedy series about rival antique dealers. Oliver is delighted when Simon's ex-wife Stephanie takes him in, but her former husband is terrified that she intends to stay for good.

Affairs of the Heart

Never the Twain - Series 6 - Episode 6

6. Affairs of the Heart

Series 6

Settled Out of Court

Never the Twain - Series 7 - Episode 1

1. Settled Out of Court

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Oliver and Simon decide to have a wager on who can make the most profit on an item chosen by the other.

The Wagers of Sin

Never the Twain - Series 7 - Episode 2

2. The Wagers of Sin

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver can't understand why their views on marriage don't meet with approval, and Banks proposes to Mrs Sadler.

Betrothed, Bothered and Bewildered

Never the Twain - Series 7 - Episode 3

3. Betrothed, Bothered and Bewildered

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. The recent departure of Banks leaves a void in the lives of Simon and Mrs Sadler - Mrs Sadler is missing Banks dreadfully.

The Second Time Around

Never the Twain - Series 7 - Episode 4

4. The Second Time Around

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Oliver has something to show from his gardening efforts when he produces a rare bloom.

Born to Blush Unseen

Never the Twain - Series 7 - Episode 5

5. Born to Blush Unseen

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver decide to fly to Canada to see their grandson.

Fasten Your Seatbelt

Never the Twain - Series 7 - Episode 6

6. Fasten Your Seatbelt

Series 7

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Lyn, David, and their baby Martin return from Canada. The arrival of a grandson should bring Simon and Oliver closer together...

Grandfathers-in-Law

Never the Twain - Series 8 - Episode 1

1. Grandfathers-in-Law

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. When David and Lynn start looking for a home, Oliver would like them to stay with him, so Simon decides to use emotional blackmail.

Nursery Times

Never the Twain - Series 8 - Episode 2

2. Nursery Times

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. A nervous David prepares to break some bad news about the christening to Simon, only to upset Oliver in the process as well.

Whose Baby?

Never the Twain - Series 8 - Episode 3

3. Whose Baby?

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Confusion arises when Simon has to go into hospital.

Never Say Die

Never the Twain - Series 8 - Episode 4

4. Never Say Die

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. Simon and Oliver are worried that they won't see their grandson after David and Lyn drop hints about moving.

Moving On

Never the Twain - Series 8 - Episode 5

5. Moving On

Comedy series about two rival antique dealers. As David and Lyn settle into their new home, Simon and Oliver compete to ensure that they've got all the essentials they need.