Two and a Half Men

  • S
  • COMEDY
  • 30m
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Contains adult humour. Turn on Parental controls

3. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark - Charlie learns that Alan's recent dating spree has been with Alan's ex-wife. Charlie does everything in his power to keep the two apart.

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Series 3

1. Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

Charlie looks after his nephew for the weekend, after Alan falls off the roof trying to fix the satellite dish. Meanwhile, Evelyn insists on arranging a blind date for Alan.

2. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Jake gets into trouble at school, so Alan has a meeting with the school principal to prevent him getting expelled. Charlie watches over the chiropractic office for the day.

3. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Charlie learns that Alan's recent dating spree has been with Alan's ex-wife. Charlie does everything in his power to keep the two apart.

4. Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs

Alan and Charlie fight when Berta moves into the beach house, so Alan decides to find his own place.

5. We Called it Mr Pinky

When Charlie responds impolitely to a woman declaring her love for him, she says he has unresolved issues with his mother.

6. Hi, Mr Horned One

Charlie is happy to date sexy Satan worshipper Isabella until she places a curse on his manhood, and things aren't quite the same.

7. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Charlie mistakenly spends the night with his stalker, Rose, celebrating her birthday, and ends up being confronted by her father.

8. That Voodoo That I Do

Charlie becomes infatuated with a ballet teacher and convinces Jake to enrol in her class. The plan goes awry when Jake gets a crush on her.

9. Madame and Her Special Friend

A wealthy, elderly woman becomes romantically interested in Alan and makes a proposition. And Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

10. Something Salted and Twisted

Alan throws a celebratory dinner after a newspaper refers to him as a good guy, a good doctor and a good neighbour. But he is crushed when his mother is not impressed.

11. Santa's Village of the Damned

Alan and Charlie gain weight when Alan dates a cookery teacher. When it becomes obvious that Sandy is unstable, Charlie refuses to let Alan break up with her.

12. That Special Tug

Alan becomes convinced that Jake doesn't want to spend time with him, and Charlie dates a psychiatrist to help Alan.

13. Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Charlie makes an inappropriate proposal to Mia. And everyone thinks he's lying when he confesses that he and Mia haven't consummated the relationship.

14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

Charlie is looking forward to consummating his relationship with Mia, but the arrival of an ex-girlfriend causes major problems.

15. My Tongue Is Meat

Mia and Charlie's lifestyles clash, when Charlie realises he can't keep up her healthy regime, and Charlie tries to figure out how he feels about her.

16. Ergo, the Booty Call

American sitcom about a well-off bachelor whose life is disrupted when his brother and young nephew move in with him. Alan avoids taking his 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday, worried what Evelyn will make of her.

17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

When he is nominated for an advertising award, Charlie boycotts the ceremony, having lost several years in a row to a rival.

18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Alan's girlfriend is costing him too much money and Charlie has to pay Judith's alimony. He attempts to convince Alan to break it off with her.

19. Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Charlie discovers that Kandi has been living in the house for three weeks. Alan struggles to help Kandi earn a living.

20. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Charlie sleeps with Kandi's mother Mandi, and Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Judith has brainwashed Kandi against Alan, who feels depressed.

21. And the Plot Moistens

American sitcom about a well-off bachelor whose life is disrupted when his brother and young nephew move in with him. Alan and Judith meet Jake's teacher to discuss his attitude in school. Alan loses interest in Kandi and turns toward Francine.

22. Just Once with Aunt Sophie

Jake is invited by a cute girl to a party, so Charlie and Alan help him prepare. But Charlie butts in on Alan's big moment.

23. Arguments for the Quickie

Charlie's former girlfriend Mia returns to town with her dance troupe and asks Charlie if he will accompany her to the show. Then she requests something very personal.

24. That Pistol Packin' Hermaphrodite

Charlie and Mia's wedding plans are derailed when their families meet, and things begin to fall apart. It throws up a number of life-changing decisions for everyone!