'We've been punished for doing the right thing' - Family carers in the South call for more help

• ITV Meridian's Christine Alsford has been speaking to Kinship Carers, watch the full report on ITVX.

Every year, hundreds of relatives step in to look after children within their own family who would otherwise end up in the care system.

Nearly twenty years ago, Wendy started caring for her two grandchildren. Callum, just 17 months old, and Willow, a newborn, would have ended up in foster care if she had not stepped in. Instead, Wendy brought them up herself.

Like many of the other 140,000 'kinship carers' across the country, she believes she paid a high price for a choice she made out of love.

"I lost my work, I lost my personal pension, I lost my retirement," she said.

"I was 56 when I started caring for Callum. They said if I didn't give up work, that Callum would be put into foster care. And the thought of not seeing him again - I can't tell you. I never gave it a second thought, he was my grandson."

• Wendy is one of hundreds of 'kinship carers' struggling across the UK.

Many kinship carers say they have to give up jobs and put off retirements, placing them in financial difficulties.

Typically, foster parents receive around £22,000 a year for looking after a child over the age of 11. In residential care, on average it costs the state over £318,000 for a place in a children's home.

But kinship carers say they receive much less financial support - and in some cases nothing at all.

They say the amount they get varies hugely across the country, with some local authorities offering more support than others.

The charity Kinship estimates for every 100 children raised in kinship care the state saves £4 million a year.

"We are the cheaper option," said Wendy, whose grandchildren are now aged 18 and 13. "We say we're the forgotten army of carers."

At the age of 72, Wendy depends on handouts to help ease the financial pressure, regularly using her local community fridge.

"We get basic things like bread, vegetables and loads of fruit. [it's] an absolute lifesaver."

• Julia says in order to care for her grandchildren, she had to give up her job as GP practice manager.

Mick and Julia raised their three granddaughters from an early age. Two of them - Verity, who is now 18 and Ruby, aged 16 - still live with them in their rented home.

"Mia was 18 months. Verity was 3 months. And we took Ruby on a couple of years later," Julia said.

"They're not living with strangers, they're not living with somebody who comes and gets them with a black plastic bag of their things. They're still with their family so they belong and they have that feeling of belonging."

Julia says in order to care for her grandchildren, she had to give up her job as GP practice manager. She says they lost the house they used to own and can't afford to move. The couple, both in their seventies, now sleep in the lounge each night because of Julia's mobility problems.

"The course of our life changed within a matter of minutes," Julia said.

"Not hours or days, but minutes. I feel like we stepped up and did the right thing and have been punished for it ever since."

• Ruby believes she would have been worse off she didn't live with her grandparents.

16-year-old Ruby says living with her grandparents has helped her significantly. "Being with nan and grandad and living in a nice home and being brought up very well, it's helped me a lot," she said.

"I would have been a lot worse off if I wasn't with them. I'm just glad they could take me in. They're always there if I need anyone to talk to. Grandad - even though he's grumpy sometimes - he's always there when I need him"

Meanwhile, 18-year-old Verity, says Julia and Mick have given her a sense of stability.

"I really rely on stability, on routine, on being able to know what's going to happen," Verity said. "I'm given space and it is sort of my own family - it's people who I know who know me, who I can put my trust into."

Mick and Julia are asking the government to step in to provide help for kinship carers in line with the support foster carers already receive.

Mick said: "You're not going to see your child go without shoes or clothes, but we still to find the finances for that. And that's difficult.

"If I was in my fifties I would be out working. I'm not in my fifties anymore. So we do find things extremely hard."

A Department for Education spokesperson said: “Kinship carers do incredible work looking after family members and helping to give every child in our country the best start in life, which is why we are looking to introduce more support to help them with their essential needs, including a financial allowance which we will be trialling in the new year.

“We are also introducing a new law to make sure councils set out clear support for carers and trialling Family Network Support Packages which provide funding and practical support to extended families with caring responsibilities.

“Our ambitious reforms to the children’s social care system will help keep more families together safely, reducing the number of children needing care across the country as part of our Plan for Change.”

But charities say things aren't changing fast enough for families who have been struggling for decades.

They also claim families often lack the wider support they need to look after kinship children who can be traumatised by abuse, abandonment or bereavement.

Lucy Peake, chief executive of the charity Kinship, said: "Placing children in kinship care and plunging them into poverty is not a good thing to do.

"Kinship carers are doing what we would want in all of our families. It's somebody who steps in with love and commitment and will give that child support as long as they need them.

"But love alone doesn't pay the bills. Kinship carers deserve financial support, practical support, and emotional support for the role that they're playing."

The Independent Review of Children's Social Care (2022) found that in many cases children that stayed with family members had better outcomes than those in residential care.

Wendy's support for Willow means she's now playing roller hockey for Great Britain and her grandson Callum is a football referee. "I'm so proud of both of them," said Wendy.

Despite the challenges they face and sacrifices they've made, the carers feel they've done the right thing.

"At 72 I thought I would just be pottering in the garden, reading books and doing a bit of knitting, " said Wendy.

"Bringing up the children has been absolutely wonderful. The opportunity to see them grow, to see their first milestones, to share in their successes."

Asked if she would do it all over again, Julia replied: "In a heartbeat - in a heartbeat. I love them so much it's unbelievable."

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