'You are not alone in your grief journey': bereaved families come together to navigate baby loss
Alexandra Spiceley finds out about the support available to families navigating baby loss in Jersey and speaks with Lauren, who says it made a real difference.
People in Jersey took part in a starlight walk this weekend to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week. Hosted by baby loss and safer pregnancy charity Philip's Footprints, the aim was to spark conversation around child bereavement and give families a chance to feel less alone with their grief.
The charity donates memory boxes to families experiencing the loss of a child in Jersey - giving them an opportunity to create tangible memories and keepsakes.
They also work to provide support information and counselling services.
Jo Nash, the charity's founder, says she hopes the walk gave people an opportunity to form lasting connections.
"Whilst Baby Loss Awareness Week is a fantastic opportunity to raise awareness, it is just that - one week", she says.
"We hope those who know a bereaved parent will be mindful that, for them, it's not just a week - it's every day."
Lauren Lynda Callaghan says the charity's support was invaluable in helping her navigate the painful experience of losing a baby, after her daughter was born sleeping at 21 weeks in May last year.
She says its a period of time she remembers as being "an absolute blur".
"It's not until you're in it that you understand the emotions connected to it, which are incredibly raw", she adds.
After realising she needed to seek support, Lauren turned to the maternity unit and was put in touch with Karina Ward - a bereavement counsellor funded by Philip's Footsteps at the Enid Quenault Health and Wellbeing Centre.
Lauren says the service provided her with the safe space she needed.
“It feels like it’s my room, it’s my daughter’s room", she explains.
"I come in here and I automatically feel calm and have the space to navigate through the emotions with the counsellor.”
Karina says that for family and friends, it can be difficult to determine how to support someone who is going through the emotional experience.
"It has to be led by the person who has gone through the loss - sometimes it can be offering some practical help, such as if they need cooking done for them, which might be the last thing on their mind”, she explains.
She adds that "everyone who goes through a loss deserves to be held", and this is what she aims to achieve with her work.
Kenan Osborne, the charity's chair, says the memory boxes donated by the charity - filled with items such as keepsakes, a photo album, and children's books to help bereaved siblings navigate their feelings - are designed to reinforce the support offered by counselling.
"The boxes are designed for people to find ways to remember their loved ones", he explains.
The charity also offers group sessions for those who wish to talk about their loss journey and points families towards other services that can help.
Without the counselling and support she received from Philip's Footprints, Lauren says she doesn't know where she would be in her grief journey.
“You feel like the only person going through it at the time" she explains "having someone to talk to and a room to support me through those really raw emotions was unbelievable.
"What Philip's Footprints allowed me to do was have memories of my daughter that without them I wouldn't have."
On Wednesday 15 October, the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week will be marked with a Global Wave of Light - which invites families worldwide to light candles for one hour to remember all babies who have died too soon.
In Jersey, this will take place at 7pm.
Information about a range of support services across the Channel Islands is available here.
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